garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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