out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
