hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
