Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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