Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
