We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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