oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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