Sacagawea was the original milf.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
