Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
