I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Did I show you my penis last night?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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