Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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