I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
