Don't make out with my wife yet
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
