I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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