I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize