fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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