Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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