actually, I'm a sock model
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
