girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
