Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
