Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
