Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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