I feel like I'm in dance class right now
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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