Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.

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(248): View more from Michigan

i just identified you from a description of your pipe

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(513): View more from Ohio

Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.

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(817): View more from Texas

God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist

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(860): View more from Connecticut

the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?

(325): View more from Texas

Jail. That could go wrong.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.

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(678): View more from Georgia

he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him

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