I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
