brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
