someone threw a dead crab at me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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