Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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