A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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