he puts the penis in happiness.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
