I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
