He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
