He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
