a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
