I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
birth control should be required to get into college
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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