Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
