the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
