He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
