I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
