Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
