Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
