Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
