he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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