hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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