I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
