coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's official drugs can't kill me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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