I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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