Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I need water and some morals
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
