Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
