weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
