my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
What a dumb baby whore.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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