and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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