He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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