i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
