You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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