You work out of a Hotel?
My cat gives me a boner
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
