I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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