My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
